Updated: Mar 22, 2021
Inertia and joy have always propelled me forward. Don’t get me wrong. I have lived a wonderful life but far from a charmed life. There have been bumps, roadblocks, cliffs and - whams! But knowing that I am loved—loved by God—has been the healing force that helped to navigate the map to return to the path I have been given to walk.
In the midst of numerous doctor appointments, I took a moment to pause and look back. The neuromuscular weakness that seemed to begin its assault rather abruptly had been displaying itself to me for somewhere around ten to fifteen years. I was just moving too fast to pay attention to the signs and wonders of the mechanics of the human body. There was always the next step to take.
I now find myself in bed or laying on a chaise most of the day. A pain management regimen that keeps me off the strong pain meds. If I move too much or I’m not resting on something extra soft, the attacks can come with their own form of strength. But I do enjoy my power wheelchair rides with my little white puffball dog on my lap—his long ears flying in the breeze making him look like a hood ornament on a Bentley.
When work ended and disability started, I still allowed busyness to continue to rule my life. A son’s wedding. Doctor appointments. Forms to be filled out and conversations to be had for me to be certified “disabled.” Ugh. I don’t like that word. I find humor in the word, “cripple,” though some struggle to find anything funny about it. I am now working with doctors in a study at the National Institutes of Health navigating the journey ahead.
Two years now living in stillness and semi-isolation (complete isolation during this Covid mess and sadness), I find myself called to a year of living dangerously. A tandem skydive with an accessibility group. Being pushed 100 miles in a wheelchair on a pilgrimage in Spain. Maybe doing a half-marathon (pushed in a wheelchair) with my son. I’m still waiting for other physical challenges to appear.
But that’s physical. Living dangerously, spiritually, brings me to a deeper listening: to God and to others. I have worked with people on deepening my spiritual life for over forty years. I do not want to stop that journey. Even though my body is stagnant I do not want to let my spiritual and intellectual life be stagnant. Radical growth is the goal for my life - excepting my girth.
I want this site to be a place where we can grow together and challenge one another. Susan Alloway and I will be doing podcasts interviewing people from different ethnicities, cultures, and backgrounds, simply ask the question, “What have you been doing to maintain and deepen your relationship with Jesus?” I’ll continue to write and bug Susan to add to some of the writing - she has a passionate heart for God - and I thank her for being my partner in getting this site out to you.
I also want to make myself available for prayer - as open or anonymous as you choose to be (God will know who I am praying for and what concerns and celebrations you are sharing). They will only come to me and not be shared with others.
Let’s live dangerously together. Let’s be open to the changes God has for us. Let’s explore together. Let’s be surprised together.
I’m looking forward to going on this adventure with you and enjoying the ride that lies ahead.